I seem to pick and choose when I want to fight the cause. I hate gender stereotypes yet I fully embrace the one given to me (shopping and pink cocktails? Hell YEAH). I have issues with strip clubs but I've taken a couple of pole dancing classes myself (definitely no hidden talent there). I can't stand guys who pass judgement on a woman's body, as if being slightly bigger without covering up is a crime against femininity, however I look longingly at the skinny models in my magazines all the time. I fully accept that sexual harassment is a serious issue although I wouldn't mind being wolf whistled at once in a while. And you know what? There's nothing wrong with any of those things. Because that's what feminism comes down to- choice.
On a very basic level it's finally giving women the choice between forging ahead with their career or staying at home with children (although we're still not quite there with that one). On another level it's also about embracing the other choices we may wish to make. We talk about respect and equality yet too many women (and men) seem intent on reserving these 'privileges' for those who hold very specific views about how a woman should express her desire for equal status.
I am a feminist. I also have the right to decide what I deem to be sexual harassment, whether or not pole dancing constitutes a legitimate past time and how I feel about the sex industry. I appreciate the arguments surrounding these issues however I am quite capable of coming up with my own views without sacrificing my feminist values.
When the internal arguments so often alienate people from the cause why do we continue to make them our focus? I'm not saying we should all suddenly sacrifice our beliefs in the interests of getting along; I love a healthy debate as much as the next person. However debate is the operative word here. This shouldn't be a one way dialogue and listening is just as important as making your views known. By enforcing your beliefs on others, no matter how passionate you feel about them, you're already in the same territory as the so-called oppressors who have done so for years (granted your views may have women's best interests at heart however the principal's pretty much the same).
When will we finally say to women that it's okay to be unsure? Feminism throws up some tricky issues and I'd much prefer someone spent time thinking about where their beliefs sit and what they are comfortable with rather than shunning certain activities simply because feminism says they're bad.
I love that women's rights and 'issues' are often in the spotlight and I think it's so important to keep them there. I don't, however, like the assumption that all feminists should hold the same views on a range of issues just because we happen to have one view in common. As Cate Sevilla says, "Equality is not a sisterhood of women who agree on everything". Provided women are in an environment that allows them to make an informed choice (eg. not forced into the sex industry due to being economically disadvantaged) I think we can agree to disagree in a lot of cases.
In the words of Caitlin Moran (I will never stop quoting this woman): "the purpose of feminism isn't to make a particular type of woman...You know what? Feminism will have all of you". So let's stop with the judgement, the belittling and the snobbery. Go right ahead and book a burlesque lesson, wear an indecently short skirt, dress up as a sexy nurse for a fancy dress party- just don't do it out of a sense of duty as a woman.
